Once in an Lifetime
by heartsewnsleeve
Summary: "I always knew the correct answer, but for some reason, I never knew the right answer to say to myself... I sighed sadly, and wiped my tears on the sleeve of my sweater." HarryxHermione


I'm not sure, if this is going to stay an one shot or not. If anyone would care to read on, I'm going to add another chapter. Regardless, enjoy!

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I couldn't take it any longer. It was becoming insufferable to watch as the girls aimlessly flocked around him. I could hardly compete with any of them. How can a girl, especially like me, compete with _them_? I watched, as a random girl, chatted him up and flirtatiously brushed his arm. How could I compete? It was moments like this when I very much wanted to bawl out my eyes and cry. I didn't. I _refused_ to cry. I couldn't resist the sad smile that formed itself on my face. I didn't hate quidditch, because it was dumb. I hated it because when I went to those games, I was like every other fan girl, who adored him.

"Herm?" Ron, asked me. He had this goofy look on his face. Ron was always the king of facial expressions. He looked slightly confused, not like that was new, but he could tell I wasn't feeling quite right. Despite, his utter annoyance to me sometimes, I did love Ron. Much_ like the way_, Harry loved me. The thought made me want to die on the spot.

"Yes?" I piqued. I couldn't help, but glance at that girl with envy and disdain. She didn't know Harry, at all. She didn't know that he liked strawberry jelly, not grape. She didn't know that he whimpered sometimes in his sleep, still plagued by images of pain. She never soothed him back to bed, caressing his head and running her fingers through his _gorgeous ebony hair_, while he wrestled with his destiny.

"You look hungry."

"What?"

"Well, when I'm hungry, I get the same sad look on my face." I wasn't sure whether it was comical or pathetic, that Ron felt the same way about being hungry, as I did about my hopeless crush. I laughed, regardless, and shook my head.

"No, I'm fine, Ron... just stressing about my Charms exam next week." He gave me this,_ 'you are insane' _look.

"Hermione, we are at a party. We just won the quidditch game today. How can you possibly, for Merlin's sake, worry about school work now?" I whacked him with my fist, lightly. He feigned pain, and moaned theatrically. I laughed. Ron was completely oblivious to the fact that my heart was completely shattering, but he managed to make me feel better. Not fully, but a bit. There was only one person, who could make me feel better. I sighed, as I realized that the person who made it better, was the same exact one who made it so bad in the first place.

"Ronald Weasley, maybe if you partied as hard as you studied, you'd be top of your class too." He stuck his tongue out me, and went to retaliate, but Lavender Brown had crept behind him. I crept away, before I ruined the moment for Ron. We both didn't need to be hopeless in love, at least.

I shuffled quickly out of the common room, before anyone would know I had left. _Not like, anyone cared about the brown nosing bushy haired goodie two shoes anyways. _I wiped away a small tear that had managed to creep down my cheek as I began to ran down the corridor. I wanted to go down to the lake and just forget everything, but of course I had forgotten my coat as I ran out of the common room. The warm tears, were falling faster down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them as I shuffled down the steps. I closed my eyes, and kept shuffling and pretending that my reality wasn't a reality after all; just a bad nightmare. The only place I could think of that nobody would be the dungeons. So, as fast as my feet would take me, I ran down.

I ducked into the first empty classroom, I saw. I locked the door, and bolted it close. I went to the opposite side of the teacher desk. Slowly I collapsed against the it, tears spilling down my cheek. _Hermione Granger, doesn't collapse. Hermione Granger, strives for perfection. _I wanted so badly to pretend everything so okay, but every day it was getting harder and harder. It's hard wearing a mask everyday, with the person who meant the most to you.

I covered my head with my hands, and began to bawl worse, as all the tears I've been keeping in for so long, finally managed to escape.

I felt a lot like did in my first year. I felt so out of place. My crush on Harry, had grown over the years. I've always liked Harry, ever since I was twelve and spotted him in on the Hogwarts Express. That first look had reeled me in, and I've only managed to be reeled in each more year. I always had some hope about it. _Harry Potter will fall in love with me. _My thirteen year old recited in the mirror, looking at the taped photo of us that was taped to my vanity mirror. If only life were that simple.

When I turned sixteen, it finally dawned on me, that it wasn't a crush anymore. But, I guess it was, since it _crushed me everyday. _That's why I settled for the letters between Viktor and I. The idea that someone could possibly love me, gave me hope that maybe some day Harry could too. The frustration of never being seen as a girl, but _just Hermione_, tortured me. I read in all of my cheesy novels, how once the girl grew up, the boy she was in love with would fall in love with her too. So, I waited. I mean, didn't a few years of wearing a bra, count me as grown up?

I always knew the correct answer, but for some reason, I never knew the right answer to say to myself... I sighed sadly, and wiped my tears on the sleeve of my sweater.

"Anyone there?" A familiar voice echoed to me. I wiped the snot off my nose, and tried as fast as I could to dry my tears. _Maybe, if I stay silent, he won't notice and leave. _I felt the pang in my chest at the idea of him not bothering to help me. _If he leaves, and doesn't come here, I am giving up. I am letting go of everything. I will no longer waste my time on Harry Potter. _

I waited and waited. There was nothing. Harry didn't bother to check on me. I felt so numb, and I slowly pulled my body off the ground. My eyes, which were soothed by the sound of his musical voice, began to tear once again. The pain inside my chest, was nothing like I've ever experienced. Nothing in sixteen years of my life, compared to what I was feeling.

"I **hate** you! I **hate** you! I **hate** you!" I screamed, as I stood up from my feeble position on the ground. I began to throw textbooks, and everything I could touch. I wanted to destroy everything, anything; just wanted to destroy something, the way I just felt my heart feel. "And, I _hate _the fact that no matter what I say, I will **never** be to hate you. I _hate_ the fact that I _love_ you Harry!" I screeched, before running towards the door. I wanted to show him how much he shattered everything. He broke his promise. He **vowed **to never hurt me and always be there, and he ended up destroying me.

As, I turned around, something appeared in my line of vision. He was standing there. I wanted to die of embarrassment, but I also wanted to hurt him so badly for making me feel so... so... so... so broken,_ so hurt, so empty,_ and so alone. I had always pictured how I'd profess my love to Harry. It never played in my mind, like this. It played romantic, slightly awkward, but memorably sweet in my mind, when I dazed off before bed.

And, in those few seconds as I calmed down, I realized that it would never be returned, and I darted to run. I had already went through the suffering, but the humiliation; having to hear him say, he didn't love me back, would make me so broken hearted, I'd forget how to breathe.

But, before I left, he _caught me_.

He ran in front of me, and snaked his arm around my waist. I wanted to protest, but he silenced me. His arms were too strong for me to fight them. Even, if I wanted to, my body relaxed at his touch. I slowly, began to cry. He kept his one hand, tightly wrapped around my waist, while the other one wiped my tear.

"Harry..." I muttered, through my tears. He put his finger to my lips. My eyes fluttered by the feeling of his touch against my lips. I wanted to cry, so hard. I wanted to live forever in this moment. But, no body loved the bookworm in the end. Every fairy tale said so. In the end, it was girls like Lavender Brown, who won the princes. _Princes never married the plain jane for a reason._

"Hermione." With that, I _knew_. The way, those green eyes shone. The way, my named rolled off his tongue, I knew it. He felt it too. I wanted to scream happily. I wanted to burn every fairy tale, that said it couldn't be true. His eyes, bore into mine. _If you don't do it now, you'll never get another chance. _I crashed my lips onto his. I didn't pretend to know what I was doing. I hardly did. I only knew that he was boy who made me happy; he was the boy, that you only get to meet once in a lifetime.


End file.
